


Mellohi

by samisnotonline



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Coming Out, Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, HEY YOU, Lesbian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), it's okay we've all been there, no beta we die like ghostbur, noticed you've been scrolling through the trans tommyinnit tag for a while now, yeah you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29208303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisnotonline/pseuds/samisnotonline
Summary: "Can't believe Tommy's a lesbian."The message had been a joke. Of course it had.So why on earth did the words make him feel so good?more lesbianinnit content because there isn't enough of it on here
Relationships: Eret & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 62
Kudos: 952
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Stal

**Author's Note:**

> If Tommy ever expresses that he's uncomfortable being written about like this, I will take it down!  
> I don't actually think that he's trans, this is purely a work of fiction.

“Can’t believe Tommy’s a lesbian.”

The message had been a joke. Of course it had- nobody legitimately thought Tommy was a lesbian. He was a boy, a Big Man as he often referred to himself.

“Now, chat. Let’s think about this one.” He played into the joke. Of course, that didn’t mean he wasn’t legitimately thinking about the message. _ Can’t believe Tommy’s a lesbian. _ Why did that message of all things stick out to him? Sure it was funny, but there was something else. Some gut feeling he couldn’t quite explain that drew him to it.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized this wasn’t something he should be thinking about on stream. “Wait, no, let’s not think about this one when we’re live in front of sixty-eight thousand people!” He laughed into his shouts, changing the subject as quickly as possible. That’s not to say that the subject left his mind as easily.

It was stupid, really. As he continued streaming, the chat continued to spam messages along the lines of “lesbianinnit” or “Tommy’s my favorite lesbian”. Why did those words make his heart pound?

The stream went on for a little while longer, and once he was finished, he collapsed into the soft plush of his gaming chair. He’d been live for longer than he realized, and he’d need to go to bed quickly if he wanted to be well-rested for college tomorrow. Tommy glanced at the clock on his PC. 11:04 PM.

He figured there was enough time for a brisk shower. Stepping into the bathroom, the white tile flooring felt cold against his feet. Looking into the large wooden framed mirror plastered across the wall, he stared into the eyes of an exhausted looking boy. His eyes had bags underneath them, and hair that looked like a complete bird’s nest, his golden locks sticking out at odd angles.

Stripping himself of his red tee, he looked into the mirror once more. He couldn’t help but notice how angular his body was. The harsh slant of his jaw, his broad shoulders, and flat chest. There was something off-putting about it all, though he couldn’t pinpoint what. He shook the thought from his head and focused his mind back on the task at hand; showering.

He either kept his eyes closed or looked directly upward for the majority of his shower, not wanting to look down at his body in case it rose more questions in his mind. His mind fell empty as he melted into the warmth of the water running down his face.

He’d showered for longer than intended. He rushed to change into his pyjamas and practically dove under the pile of blankets laid across his bed.

His eyes hurt with exhaustion and his body ached in relief as he finally settled down to rest. The lingering warmth of the shower along with the insulation from the blankets caused his mind to fog, and he practically fell asleep the moment his head hit his pillow.

He couldn’t focus on his schoolwork.

His mind was racing and his body felt as though it were filled with electricity, unable to quit fidgeting. How could he write an essay when the words written upon his paper seemed to blur together and disorientate within his mind?

The day passed slowly. Minutes felt like hours, and a twinge of guilt would hit him every time his teachers scolded him for not staying on track.

He’d made decent friends with a group of peers, all of them having met during their lunch period at the beginning of the year. Things just clicked, and they soon found themselves sitting together every day.

Another thing worth noting was that Tommy was the only guy in the group. The members of his group were all female with the exception of Sock, who was nonbinary.

“Damn, Tommy, you look like shit.” Tasha, one of his friends teased. She had coily black hair that fell to her shoulders, and smooth copper skin that Tommy swore never developed a single bout of acne. Tommy would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of her ability to tame her acne like that.

“Let me guess. He was too busy streaming to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Sara, a girl with striking green eyes and silky blonde hair mocked.

“He was, I was watching the stream last night,” piped Sock. “Think it went on until eleven or so. Though if I’m remembering correctly, that’s surprisingly early for Tom here.”

“Oh, hush.” Tommy nudged them in the shoulder before turning his attention towards his lunch, a tray full of deeply mediocre chicken strips and a boxed apple juice.

“You know, we haven’t hung out outside of school in a while,” Nicole, the final girl in their group brought up. “We should ask if we can all sleep over next weekend.”

“Ooh, yes please.” Sock’s eyes widened in excitement at the idea. “On one condition, though. Tommy lets us do his eyeliner. He promised he’d let us last time, but he totally bailed!”

Sara chuckled. “Afraid you might look good in it, Tommy?”

Tommy hesitated before forcing a slight laugh. “Nah, I’m just so strong and manly that I’ve got no need for makeup.”

“Oh please. Men can wear makeup.”

He didn’t admit it out loud, but he quite liked the idea of having his friends do his makeup.

Would he look good in eyeliner? Maybe a bit of eyeshadow? Oh, god, what was he getting himself into?

“Come on, Toms. Don’t be such a scardey-cat,” Tasha chirped.

“Okay, okay, fine.” he rolled his eyes, an attempt to hide any sort of excitement that might have been bubbling inside of him. Why was he suddenly so drawn to the idea of femininity? He’d never found himself that interested before, though maybe that was because the opportunity rarely presented itself to him.

No matter, he was willing to try it.

He decided against streaming that day, figuring it’d be best to actually try and regulate his sleep schedule for once. He hopped onto a call with Wilbur and Tubbo at one point, neither of them had been streaming though were still messing about on the Dream SMP.

Pushing aside those thoughts of femininity and questioning had been a relief. The familiarity of Tubbo’s laugh and Wilbur’s teasing jokes was comforting, the chaos of messing around playing video games contenting his mind for the moment.

“Oh yeah, Tommy. I noticed your hair’s gotten a lot longer lately,” Tubbo commented.

“Yeah, it’s almost grown into a mullet now,” Wilbur teased, “normally you don’t let it grow an inch past your usual cut.”

It  _ had  _ gotten longer. He hadn’t put much thought into it, he just assumed that it was the result of laziness.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to cut it for a while now,” he lied. Truth be told, he’d grown fond of tugging at the longer blond strands, coiling them around his fingers when he was bored. He liked the way the curls wrapped themselves around his ears, just barely showing at the front of his face.

“I kind of like it,” Tubbo murmured, almost inaudibly.

“It’s different,” Wilbur commented. “But I agree with Tubbo. It suits you surprisingly well.”

“Really? I’ve just been too lazy to cut it, do you actually think it looks good?”

Tubbo nodded. “Yeah, man! You should grow it out more often!”

Huh. Maybe he will.

He found himself scrolling mindlessly through Snapchat. He’d responded to the majority of his messages, and he was now bored.

Very,  _ very  _ bored.

An idea struck him. He opened up the selection of Snapchat’s filters and scrolled through the list. If he really was questioning his relationship with femininity, perhaps the variety of feminine-looking filters might help him figure something out.

There were more to pick from than he could process. Filters that applied makeup, some filters including cutesy looking stickers across your face, flower crowns, and- it was a bit overwhelming.

He began with some light looking makeup filters. His lashes looked more defined, his cheeks were slightly redder and his lips a pleasant shade of pink.

He took a selfie with that one and saved it. He couldn’t help it, he loved the way it made him look. He scrolled onto the next one, which consisted of heavy eyeliner, bright red lipstick, and a pair of little devil horns. It was a cute filter, though it wasn’t for him.

He hadn’t been aware of time passing. He much preferred the way his face looked when it was soft and rounded than the way it looked now, harsh and angular. He liked the way he looked in makeup, he decided, and he most definitely loved the way he looked when wearing a flower crown.

He pondered what he might look like in a skirt.

_ Nope. Nope nope nope. I can’t do this, not tonight _ .

Maybe if he just slept it off, his problems would go away.

That plan backfired rather quickly, as sleeping was no use. The way his mind was spinning, he’d be lucky to hope to fall asleep even with the assistance of some melatonin.

He turned to google.

_ Why do I like being feminine more than masculine _

_ Why am I uncomfortable acting masculine _

_ Why do I feel more comfortable acting feminine _

The term “gender dysphoria” had popped up multiple times throughout his scouring. He recalled Eret discussing it a couple of times on stream, explaining that it was a disconnect between mind and body that trans individuals often experienced.

But he wasn’t trans. He was perfectly fine with being a guy, right? So what if he preferred femininity over masculinity?

_ Symptoms of dysphoria _

_ Symptoms of gender dysphoria _

_ How do I know if I have dysphoria _

_ How do I know if I’m trans _

Was he really googling all of this? Surely he’d have known by now if he was trans. Didn’t most trans people know from a young age that they were born in the wrong body? Tommy had never questioned being male up until now. It had never made him uncomfortable, why had it only just started to now?

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Why he clicked with his female friends so much quicker than he had with Wilbur and Tubbo. Why he felt the need to reassure himself with Big Man jokes so regularly.

It was all so confusing, he couldn’t process this kind of thing by himself. He had to tell someone, but who? The idea of telling Wilbur or Tubbo felt rather daunting, somehow coming out to his closest friends felt more terrifying than coming out to a complete stranger.

_ Eret. _

Eret knew more about this kind of thing than anyone else on the SMP, not to mention they were the least likely to judge Tommy on any questions he might have.

**tommyinnit**

Hey I know we don’t talk all that often, especially not abt stuff like this but I wanted to ask you something

**eret**

Sure, VC?

Tommy didn’t waste a second and rung Eret up the moment he received their message.

“Hey, isn’t it like, two in the morning for you right now?”

“Three,” Tommy corrected.

“Jesus, Tommy. You need to sleep.”

“I know.”

There’s a pause.

“So what’s so important that’s got you calling me this late?”

He hesitated. All of a sudden, the words seemed to clog at the back of his throat. They refused to come out, so instead, he mumbled,

“Can I type it out?”

“Of course.”

Eret’s voice softened almost immediately, they must have sensed that whatever it was that Tommy needed to say, it was serious.

**tommyinnit**

So for the past week, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how much I prefer being feminine over masculine

It started off small but I’m realizing how much I dislike being masculine

I like the way I look with softer features and makeup and all of that

I can’t stop thinking about what I might look like wearing a dress or a skirt

I looked it up and I think I have dysphoria but I’m not sure

Tommy sucked in a breath. It was out. Eret hummed quietly as they read Tommy’s message, the silence between the two of them almost deafening.

“Oh. That’s- not what I was expecting.” Their voice was no more than a whisper, and Tommy could practically hear the gears turning inside of their head.

“That- that definitely sounds like dysphoria, Tommy.”

“I don’t understand,” he choked out. “Don’t people with dysphoria feel that way their whole life? Why would it only start now?”

“Not everyone discovers that they’re trans right away,” Eret countered. “I didn’t realize I felt dysphoria up until rather recently, that’s why I started going by all pronouns. It took me a while to realize that not all people know that they’re trans from a young age.”

_ Pronouns _ . He hadn’t given pronouns much thought, either.

“It’s just- it all happened so quickly. I don’t know what to do. What if-” Tommy swallowed. “What if I  _ am  _ a woman?”

“Would it be such a bad thing if you were?”

He hesitated before responding. “That’s not what I- no, I guess it wouldn’t. I- I think that I’m more scared of change than anything else.”

“Change is scary,” they agreed. “But it’s not something you should try and avoid. You said that being masculine makes you uncomfortable. If what you’re experiencing really is dysphoria, ignoring the issue will only cause it to worsen.”

He knew Eret was right. “Could you- could you maybe refer to me as ‘she’ real quick?”

“Of course. This is Tommy, she’s one of my friends and I frequently play Minecraft with her on the Dream SMP. She’s really funny, and I’m proud of how much she’s grown as a streamer in recent months. While we may have only known her for a little under a year, most people would agree that she’s almost become a little sister to us on the SMP.”

_ She.  _

_ Her.  _

_ Sister. _

“Oh my god.”

“Did that feel alright?” Eret chuckled.

“More than alright. Eret, I’m-” Tommy couldn’t hold back the relieved smile growing across his-  _ her  _ face.

“I’m a  _ woman _ , Eret.”

The weekend came quickly, and Tommy’s parents had granted her permission to sleep over at Nicole’s house that Saturday. Eret was still the only person that she had come out to, though she was debating whether it might be a good idea to come out to her school friends as well.

**eret**

So do you still go by Tommy?

**tommyinnit**

Yeah. I like the name, and I’ve got good memories attached to it

Besides, it’s technically gender-neutral

**eret**

That is true!

**tommyinnit**

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you

I might come out to some friends this weekend

**eret**

Oh?

Tell me how it goes

**tommyinnit**

I’m not too nervous, one of them is nonbinary and they all wanted to do my makeup this weekend

Still a little nerve-wracking but I trust them

**eret**

Oh yeah, you mentioned the makeup thing being a part of the whole gender crisis

But I’m glad you’ve got supportive friends! Good luck on the whole thing :)

**tommyinnit**

Thanks, Eret

**eret**

No problem big man

*big woman

Something about the term big woman made her laugh more than she should have.

“Tommyyy, you’re late again.” Sock drew out the syllables of her name.

“I know, I know. I’m such a terrible friend, you’ll have to forgive me.”

“Tommy’s here?” She heard Sara pipe up from inside the living room.

“Yep! We were just about to start a movie, had you shown up any later you’d have no say in which one we picked.”

“As if he ever helps us pick anyway,” Tasha laughed. “He usually just goes along with whatever we put on.”

Tommy tried not to wince at the use of male pronouns. She’d grown so used to hearing Eret refer to her as a woman.

“That’s true.” Sock turned back to Tommy. “How about you pick out tonight’s movie? I feel slightly bad, as we’re going to be pressuring you into wearing makeup later tonight.”

Tommy thought for a moment. “I’m really not that picky. Maybe something Disney? I don’t feel up for something loud or dramatic.”

“Old Disney or new?”

“Old Disney,” she smiled. “There’s something about 3D animation that I just can’t stand.”

“Amen to that,” Nicole piped.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Tommy, we’re ordering pizza. What kind do you want?” Sara asked as they all five plopped down onto the couch together. It was crammed, but comforting in the sense that Tommy was surrounded by some of her closest friends.

“Pepperoni or cheese, I’m not picky.”

“Good, good. Sock over here-” Sara pointed towards them- “thinks that pineapple belongs on pizza. I refuse to order a pizza that’s got pineapple on half of it.”

Tommy grinned a wicked smile. “Actually, I’ve always wanted to try pineapple and ham pizza.”

Sock’s eyes widened, their eyes sparkling in excitement. “Yes! I win! We’re putting pineapple on half of the cheese, and that’s final!”

Tasha groaned. “Tommy, what have you done?”

She giggled at her friends’ distraught reactions. “Hey, man. It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Fruit does  _ not  _ belong on pizza,” Tasha retorted firmly.

“Tomatoes are fruit,” Sock pointed out.

“They shouldn’t be. Whose idea was it to categorize them as such?”

The five of them quickly settled into their usual dynamic. They selected Mulan, though they weren’t paying full attention to the movie, and spent a decent chunk of the time chatting amongst themselves.

Tommy wanted to tell them. She really did, she just didn’t know how to bring it up.

“Shit.”

Sock’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked over to see Sock was clutching their chest, doubling over in pain.

”Are you okay?” Tasha’s voice rang out in concern.

“Mhmm. It’s nothing, I promise.”

While the others dismissed it, Tommy refused to take her attention off of her friend. She’d read something online about binding when doing her research, a practice done by trans men and nonbinary individuals to flatten their chest.

She could’ve sworn she’d seen her friend’s body swaying slightly from side to side. They looked lightheaded, exhaustion clouding their eyes despite it still being early in the evening.

The others mustn’t have had a clue that Sock was binding. From the looks of it, Sock had either been binding for far too long or had ordered a size too small. _ Overbinding can easily cause rib damage, _ she recalled reading, _ ultimately making it harder if not impossible to get top surgery _ .

“Sock, can I speak with you a minute?”

“Uh, sure? What is it?”

“In private, please.”

“Ooh, Sock’s in trouble,” Sara taunted from beside them. Sock tossed her the stink eye before getting up and following Tommy out of the living room and into the hallway, stopping abruptly in front of the bathroom.

“Take it off.”

“What?”

Tommy’s words came out harsher than she’d meant for them to.

“Your binder. Take it off.”

“Tommy, I can’t just-”

“You’re in pain!” Tommy cut them off, concern overflowing her senses as that hint of anger slipped back into her tone. “I saw the way you doubled over back there. You’re clearly not doing well, and it’s dangerous to keep those things on for more than eight hours at a time.”

“How did you-”

“How long have you been wearing it, Sock?”

Sock fell quiet, chewing at their lip nervously before responding.

“A little over four days.”

_ Shit. _

“Sock, go in there and take it off  _ now _ .”

“Tommy, I can handle it-”

“I don’t care. Take. it. off.”

Sock nodded and latched the door behind them, and Tommy couldn’t help the twinge of guilt she felt after scaring them into changing.

_ It’s for their own good, _ Tommy reminded herself.  _ Better that they be mad at me that end up hurting themself. _

When Sock came out, they held a scrunched up binder in their fists.

“You happy?”

Tommy shook her head. “I never said that. I don’t want you to feel dysphoric, Sock, but I’d rather you feel dysphoric than end up causing permanent damage to your ribs.”

They didn’t meet Tommy’s eyes. Tommy couldn’t blame them, the anxiety that came with that sense of overwhelming dysphoria was one Tommy was all too familiar with.

“I just- fuck, dude. My dysphoria- it’s been off the charts lately. Any time I take my binder off, I feel like I’m gonna have a freaking breakdown.”

“Is there anything aside from binding that helps alleviate dysphoria?”

Sock hesitated. “I mean, you calling me by my name and pronouns helps. My parents won’t use them no matter how many times I ask. I used to like my hair back when it was short, but my parents haven’t let me cut it since I came out to them.”

An idea struck Tommy.

“Let’s shave your head.”

“Wait, what?”

“You said your short hair made you feel good. I’m sure Nicole’s got some stuff around here that we can use, yeah?”

“I don’t know. My parents will be pretty freaking pissed.”

“Maybe they will. But look at you, you’re terribly dysphoric with the way things are. No offense, man, but you look like shit.” That earned a slight chuckle from Sock. “You deserve to be happy, fuck whatever your parents think.”

“Thank you, Tommy.” Sock pulled her in for a hug, surprising her momentarily. Though it wasn’t long before Tommy melted into the touch and hugged back.

“I think I’m ready to go back now.”

_ This was her chance. _

“Actually, there’s something I need to tell you. Before we go back if that’s alright.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

The air around them seemed to still. Coming out to Eret had been easier, texting her feelings was always so much less work than expressing them verbally. Now she was stood face to face with her friend. Once the words were out, there was no going back.

“I think I’m a girl.”

Not only had Sock been super supportive, but they were also ecstatic to find that they weren’t the only non-cis individual in their group.

“So, she/her pronouns. Note taken. Do you have another name you’d prefer to go by?”

She shook her head. “Just Tommy.”

“That’s great, I’m proud of you for telling me.”

“I’ve only told one other person, so I’m still kind of new to the whole coming out thing.”

“That’s alright. Do you think you’ll tell the others eventually, or are we just gonna keep it between us?”

“I was going to tell all of you tonight. Though once all of…  _ this  _ happened, I figured coming out to you first would be appropriate.”

“Wow. Good for you, girl.”

_ Girl. _

She’d never get tired of hearing that word in reference to herself.

“We’re shaving Sock’s head.”

A collective _ “what?” _ came from the girls in the living room once they returned.

“Trust me. Sock wants their hair short again, but their parents are being a little bitch about letting them cut it. So we’re doing it now.”

“Bet. Let me get the stuff out of the bathroom.”

Well. That didn’t take nearly as much convincing as Tommy thought it might. Sara looked excited, though Tasha tapped her leg in anticipation.

“I don’t know, man. Won’t you get in trouble?”

“Probably. Worst comes to worst I’ll get grounded for a week, but I don’t care, I hate the way my hair looks.”

“Whatever you say.” Tasha looked unconvinced.

“Should I get my makeup out?” Sara proposed. “If we’re giving Sock a completely new look, we might as well get a jump start at Tommy’s.”

“Do it!” Sock and Tommy exchanged a knowing look, Tommy couldn’t help but smile. “Tommy, seriously, you’d look awesome with winged eyeliner.”

“He would,” Tasha agreed.

Nicole returned with several tools in hand. “Buzzcut?”

“Absolutely,” Sock grinned, a twinkle of mischief in their eyes.

“What color eyeshadow should I use?” questioned Sara once she retrieved her palette, brushes, and other appliances Tommy didn’t know the names of.

“Blue might look good with his eyes,” Tasha pointed out.

“I like the way you think. We’ll do that and some eyeliner for now.”

Sara’s attention turned to her, a determined look across her face. “Scoot over, Toms. You’re gonna have to sit still for a bit, kay?”

“Sounds good.”

The room fell silent apart from the buzzing of the razor and the long-forgotten movie still playing in the background. Tommy flinched at first, unsure what to make of the powdery brush that was now tickling her eyelids. She quickly grew used to the feeling, following Sara’s direction when it came to applying the eyeliner. The pen poked at her eye; cold, wet, and uncomfortable. Thankfully the eyeliner didn’t smudge.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the accomplished smile on Sara’s face. She looked over to Tasha, who nodded approvingly.

“Told you blue was his color.”

“Her,” she corrected almost instinctively, though quickly covered her mouth once she realized.

“What?”

Nicole had just finished shaving the last of Sock’s hair. They gave Tommy a reassuring tilt of their head as well as a thumbs up.

“It’s her, not his.” Tommy swallowed before managing the words, “I’m trans.”

It was the first time she’d spoken those words out loud. To herself or anyone else. The looks of surprise that crossed her friends’ faces worried her momentarily before Sara scooped her up into a hug.

“I’m proud of you.”

“Girl, you should’ve told us sooner! We would’ve done your makeup so many times by now.”

Nicole nodded. “Thank you for trusting us, Tommy. Is it still Tommy?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. I always liked the name Tommy better as a girl’s name than a boy’s name anyways.”

“You did it, Tommy!” Sock cheered, rubbing the back of their head as they adjusted to the new length of their hair.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I guess I did.”


	2. Chirp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize how many of y'all I'd be calling out in the tags-  
> Seriously guys. Reading y'all's comments is legitimately the highlight of my day, I'm not even joking. The MCYT community is so supportive of one another, so thank you all so much for that :'D

She’d been out to her friends for a little over a month now. It was nice, Sock and the girls had been more than supportive as she discovered different pieces of her identity.

Out of her online friends, however, Eret was the only one with any knowledge as to what was going on. Tommy felt a twinge of guilt knowing she hadn’t told Wilbur or Tubbo yet. They were some of her closest friends, and there was no doubt in her mind that they’d support her.

Then why was it so hard?

It’s like Eret said, change is scary. Would things change after she came out? Surely they would, but how much so? Would they treat her differently? Would their friend dynamic completely alter?

Coming out was inevitable. The question was not if, but when.

It was one in the morning, and Wilbur was streaming. Tommy had joined a while back, and while she was exhausted, she quite enjoyed keeping Wilbur company as he played Rust while chatting with his viewers.

“-Morgan, thank you for the dono! ‘Can you say lesbian rights? My friend just came out to me and you’re her favorite streamer.’ Absolutely! Lesbian rights, my friends! Can I get some lesbian rights in the chat?” Soon, the chatbox was flooded with pride flags and “LESBIAN RIGHTS” coming from the viewers.

“You ever listen to Girl in Red, Wilbur?”

It was a joke. The fog in her mind may have made her a bit bolder than usual, unafraid to talk so openly on LGBT subjects despite remaining closeted.

“Can’t say I have. That’s like, the codeword for lesbians, right?”

“More or less.” She smiled into her mic. She was so close to coming out. She  _ wanted  _ to, just not when they were in front of nearly forty thousand live viewers.

“Well, according to Twitter, you’re already considered an honorary lesbian. Ever since that one stream where you-”

“Oh my god.”

Tommy hadn’t heard Tubbo enter the call.

“Tubbo! There you are, we were just talking about how Tommy’s Twitter’s favorite lesbian.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Can you blame me? Men suck,” she laughed.

“Even you?”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call myself a man.”

The call fell silent. It was only then that Tommy remembered that they were still live.

“I mean, cause I’m still a child. Boy. You know?”

Had she just saved herself, or had she made herself more suspicious? Referring to herself as a “child” rather than a “man” was so out of character for her.

“So you admit that you’re a child?”

“Um. Yes?”

Tubbo burst out laughing. “Man, Tommy. You really need to sleep. You’re like, completely out of it. You sure you’re not high or something?”

A wave of _highinnit_ s wove past the chat.

“I am not high! Guys, please trust me. I’m too cool to do drugs.”

“Sure thing, Tommy.”

The stream ended a little while after. Wilbur and Tubbo joked around with her, though Tommy could hear the exhaustion in both of their voices.

“Tubbo, you should head to bed soon. You too, Tommy.”

“In a minute. I’ve got to finish-”

“Actually,” Tommy blurted, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you guys.”

The words had escaped her mouth almost involuntarily.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There’s a pause, and Tommy wondered why they weren’t talking until realizing that they were waiting for her response.

“Wow. He never falls silent,” Tubbo mumbled, only half to himself. Wilbur hummed in agreement.

“Tommy, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just- god. This is really weird for me to admit.”

She took a deep breath before continuing. “I spoke to Eret a while ago, and they helped me realize some stuff. More specifically, they helped me realize that I’m not all that happy being a guy. I started realizing how much more comfortable I felt in femininity, and that’s when I started to realize that maybe I’m not a guy after all.”

“Tommy. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Tommy nodded, though she knew Wilbur couldn’t see it.“I’m trans, Wilbur.”

“So you’re a girl?” Tubbo questioned.

“That’s what I realized, yeah. Still Tommy, but I’d like to be referred to as she from now on if that’s alright.”

The call was silent for a moment. Dread began to creep up in the back of Tommy’s mind, however, it all got pushed right back down the moment she heard Wilbur say,

“I’m so proud of you, Tommy.”

Warmth spread across her chest as she listened to her friend’s words.

“That’s not what I was expecting, but that’s great!” Tubbo sounded genuinely excited despite the exhaustion that still coated his tone. “Are you out to anyone else besides us and Eret? I don’t want to out you by accident.”

Tommy shook her head. “Just you guys, though I figured I’d come out to the rest of the SMP after telling the two of you.”

“I’m sure that they’ll be nothing but supportive,” Wilbur nodded. 

And Tommy didn’t doubt it.

  
  
  


**tommyinnit**

Hey, y’all. I’m gonna keep this as short as I can, so here goes.

I’m trans. I came to the conclusion a while back, thanks to some help from @eret

I’m not comfortable living as a guy. I never was, though I only just started realizing it. I’d appreciate it if y’all could refer to me as she from this point forward?

**wilbursoot**

PROUD OF YOU!

**tubbo**

Big woman :D

**eret**

THAT’S OUR GIRL

**ph1lza**

That’s amazing! Super happy for you, Tommy!

**technoblade**

Can’t believe Tommy’s a lesbian

**tommyinnit**

**@technoblade** well you’re not wrong

  
  
  


It was an accident.

“Tubbo! You can’t just- I was on half a heart!”

“How was I supposed to know?!” He cried, picking up the majority of Tommy’s stuff to give back to her.

“You punched her. How did- she was wearing  _ full netherite  _ and-”

_ Oh, fuck. _

“I mean, pick up  _ his  _ stuff and bring it back to spawn,” Wilbur corrected slowly, a flurry of confused messages overtaking the chat.

“It’s alright, Wilbur. It was bound to happen eventually,” Tommy reassured.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I think I’m ready to tell them.”

The call fell quiet as they waited for Tommy to gather her words.

“Do you want me to-”

“I’ve got it. I’m setting up my face-cam as we speak.”

She started her own stream, figuring that if she was going to do this, it would be on her channel, face cam and all.

“Hey, chat. I’m sure most of you are here from Tubbo’s stream. Nothing bad’s happened, I just thought I should tell you that I’m trans.”

The words rolled off her tongue easier and easier the more people she came out to. Telling her chat felt almost effortless, having already come out to all of her friends as well as her parents.

“I don’t want this to be treated as some big deal, either,” she added. “I’m still the same Tommy. You’ll just have to get used to seeing me as ‘she’ rather than ‘he’.”

She couldn’t contain the soft smile that now creased at the edge of her cheeks. Waves of pride flags and “LESBIANINNIT” messages flew by the chat. They were still the same chat she knew and loved.

“Wait, Tommy, show them the skirt you got!”

She grinned. Tubbo knew that she’d been wearing a plain white skirt underneath her red hoodie.

“Yes! Chat, it might look a little bland from here, but look-!”

Tommy did a spin, and the skirt spun with her, she giggled as she landed.

The outfit was plain, maybe a little boring. Tommy didn’t care, because she was wearing a  _ skirt _ , and god did it feel right. The encouragement from Wilbur, Tubbo, and the chat made her heart swell.

  
  
  


**Sock**

YOU DID IT

IM SO PROUD OF YOUUU

**Tommy**

I DID

Wasn’t planning on doing it so soon but it is what it is

**Sock**

I take it people were supportive?

**Tommy**

Yep.

Pretty sure I’m still trending on Twitter

**Sock**

LET’S GOOO

Tommy smiled as she read Sock’s message.

She wondered why she was ever worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this fic is a lot shorter compared to what I usually write. It was just one of those spur of the moment things where I was hit with a whole bunch of motivation all at once, and then seven hours later I had this whole thing typed out. Hyperfixation is a strange thing, you feel me?


End file.
